"And after just a taste of your love dear, I realized I'd been starving my whole life." - Julie Martinez
I just remembered that I had a conversation with a friend recently and it was late and we were just jumping from subject to subject when she asked me: "If you could go anywhere in the world right now, would it be a where or a who?" She'd seen it on Tumblr a while back and unlike all the pseudo-deep posts you usually find, I thought this one actually hit a little too close to home for my liking. The answer is, of course, a who. It's scary how your priorities can become so absolute that at some point, you don't have any control over them any more. I would like to say that I don't need anybody. I would like to say that I am strong and independent enough to manage on my own. But the truth is, I'm not, and I am ashamed of myself and my neediness.
There's a feeling in my gut that's telling me that I'm about to relapse. Usually, I'm right. I'm tired of this. I'm tired of being dependent, tired of being haunted by my father, tired of getting sick, tired of feeling like something is missing but not knowing what it is, tired of everything. I just want to curl up in a ball and have someone cover me with a blanket and hug me and caress my head and tell me they're there and that everything's going to be okay.
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