i wanna feel you exhale my name onto my neck

What amazes me is the extent of his worrying about me. He worries as soon as I hide my face or don't say anything for a tad too long. Sometimes he's wrong and I'm just dreaming or staring ahead for no reason, but mostly he's right. I just don't admit it 80% of the time. I don't want to be nuisance, and I also don't want to indulge in my sadness because ignoring it actually makes it better. Temporarily. But it's a start.

The weekends are far too short. I can't wait to be able to spend more time with him without thinking about school work or having to wake up early the next morning. Though I'm already grateful for what we have now. I feel so comfortable with him. I don't mind him seeing me trudge to the toilet looking like a zombie in the morning, he doesn't mind me seeing him when he's weak... Neither of us needs to pretend. We make awful jokes, poke fun at each other, we generally act like idiots and we have tons of fun while we're at it. Basically like best friends who also happen to love each other in all ways possible. I'm not scared of not being good enough, you know what I mean? I just want to - and can! - be me. With all my traits; be it good or bad ones. And it's great. It's really great.

We made the cookies today, I can't believe it took us so long. But they turned out really tasty so it was worth it. All the more reason fro me to stay over next weekend too and gobble them up ;)

/P.