too good, too painful

Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.
                                               ~Lifehouse, "Everything"


My friend tells me boys never write long smses or mails. She says it's just not in their nature to write more than one or two lines like "hi. yeah i'm fine, you? nah nothing's going on here, the usual". Is it just me or does that just sound really really distanced and disinterested? Yeah I'm feeling neglected.
I could start making excuses now like "he's just shy" or "he's just not good in expressing his thoughts/feelings", but I guess that would just be wishful thinking. The truth is, I'm the only one that falls head over heels for the wrong guy and can't let go. That's just me, and although I've tried so hard to change myself, I still stay the same in the end. Stupid heartfelt lovelorn little girl. Me.
Right. D is a great person, a real sweetheart and everything, but when it comes to communicating, he's useless. To think that I think of him every single fucking day, and he might just vaguely remember my face by now.
V told me about her long distance relationship once; she said that after one month of sitting at home missing her boyfriend she just got up from bed one day and didn't feel a thing anymore. She said it was the distance that made it impossible to hang on. I've been hanging on for almost a month now. Maybe this will stop one day, just like with V. I don't know if to look forward to that moment or to dread it. Either way, love never lasts forever.
And yet he's everything I can think of. I desperately hang on to any shred of memories I have of him. L brought the word t.m.i. into our friendship precisely because of that.
Haaaah change of subject change of subject!!! L is a reaaally cool guy to be friends with. Seriously. Funny, Italian (uh...is that a reason? oO), ready to talk with you in front of you house at 1:30 in the morning just because you don't feel like going home yet.... More people should be like him. L, thx :)
Okay I'm going, I'm going, no worries ^^
xx /px