firework

I'm at a relatively happy stage in life right now. My friends are great, I can enjoy life, my relationship with my mother and brother has never been better, I have a boyfriend who'd do anything for me... Good times.
Of course there's a 'but' just waiting to be said.
But, I still can't help feeling empty inside. Like there's a vacuum in my ribcage instead of two lungs and a heart. Breathing sometimes becomes difficult, and there's this kind of pressure I feel, like my chest is going to implode. I don't know what to think of it. Maybe it has something to do with my cyclothymia, I don't know. But it's making me feel guilty, too. I should be genuinely happy about my life situation, about everything really. I have everything I need right here within my reach. And yet I feel empty, like something's missing. I just wish I knew what.

/P.