scamz

.....or maybe they all think it's a scam to get attention and ignore it on purpose, hoping I'll stop. Sorry guys, you'll have to wait a long time. I can't get rid of my personality just like that.
Speaking of which, it was really hard to keep the smile on my face today. Especially after getting my mark for my math portfolio. I'm really disappointed, I thought I'd done better. Dammit.

A scam. Hah.
Half of it is, actually, a scam. Sometimes I hate the whole world so much I could scream out loud but I keep that dumb smile on my face anyway. I laugh, I joke, I act stupid. It's relaxing. At some point, I forget my anger, hate or whatever and just go with the flow. From then on it's all 'au naturel'.
One of my excuses for hiding all negative emotions deep inside me is LR. She gets upset when I'm grumpy or sad. I hate it when she's upset. It makes me feel like it's all my fault. But seriously sometimes I just have to tell her what I really think when she says something dumb but then it's immediately about me being mean and insensitive. Okay. I'll go back to smiling and laughing again, if it makes you happy, baby. She's such a fucking spoiled brat, but I can't say no to her. Yeah, true love.
Love as in sismance, mind you. Purely heterosexual.

I feel unmotivated. Like, totally unmotivated. I have to do sooo many things but I simply don't feel like. My body won't move one inch from the bed. If I could I would just stay like this until I die.
I want to have a pet. A parrot or something. Yeah, a parrot. Or a mouse. Or a cat. Cats are cool. I'd call mine Simon. Or Dog, for the fun of it.

/P.