Paranoia And My Conscience Going Mad

Just now life sucked real bad. A certain somebody sat next to me during lessons today, constantly sending vibes telling me clearly something I didn't wanna know. Later I went shopping for tomorrow (excursion with class) with L and that person (I'm sure you all know whom I mean) and... S started... doing things. Things I don't want him doing. Like walking/standing reeeally close to me, caressing my cheek and other wow-that-makes-me-feel-no-wait-I-don't-want-him-stop-please-thoughts-causing things. I seriously didn't know what to do, I tried walking fast and a lot, turning around randomly walking in the opposite direction... nothing helped. Agh! Later I was walking down towards the market place with that certain somebody when he put his arm around me and yeah well he tried to kiss me. I panicked. I. Seriously. Freaked. Out. I don't think I've ever rejected a person so obviously before. And what happens? He pretends to be hurt but otherwise acts as if nothing had happened. Like, what the hell? I thought his ego was too big to endure such a failure (haha yeah think highly of myself ;D)... Okay does that mean he's serious or just that he likes a challenge?? Whatever. He may just as well give up now. No way am I gonna do anything with him. I mean really! Asking me if he could come to my place today! Hah! Sorry mate, you're so not my league... go find something rather lower than mine, something nearer to your place. In the cellar. There. I got all my frustration and anger out, so that's it. I hate him so badly.
Aaaah and it makes my conscience go mad because I have to think of D and him thinking I still love him but I only see him as a really really good friend that could be more than just a friend if he were at least somewhere near me but oh my god what have I done this is so bad life sucks!
...........
Anyway so I watched Prince of Persia (omg what a random subject). It's a cool film, but kinda too fast to get over the message completely. I especially liked the words at the end of the film:

"It is said some lives

Are linked across time

Connected by an ancient calling

That echoes through the ages..."

So beautiful :) Really poetic :)


:* pxy