I hid the long post. It's for the better.
I used one of the soaps today and I smell like a citrus tree - so basically fabulous. :)
I'm a jealous, needy, spoiled and materialistic person. It's true. And I can't help it. But I also like giving things. I like spoiling people, making little surprises and whatnot. I like to know a lot about others because it's easier to make them happy. It's easier to know how to console them, or how to surprise them, or how to make them laugh.
I have a weak heart. I cry easily, laugh easily... I get hurt easily. You call it over-sensitive. I can't change my heart. If I could, I would. Do you think I like to be angry or sad over things, just like that? I'm not asking anybody to walk on tiptoes around me. Hell no. I just want you to know that things that don't have much meaning to you maybe mean a lot to me. Like when you keep forgetting things about me. I know you care, but in that specific moment I feel like you don't.
When I love someone, I give my everything. A friend once told me there's nothing more dangerous than giving your everything, because in the end you're left with nothing. But I feel like it's only sincere when I can say that yes, I am putting everything I have to give into a relationship, because what else can I do? Why should I withhold things? Why should I ration my feelings and experiences? On the on the other hand, I risk losing everything. It's terrifying, but at the same time I can't help thinking that it's worth it.
I keep getting upset at GC. Then I think of the way he looks at me, the way his eyes soften and grow warm. The way he sounds when he talks about things he enjoys. And then I fall for him all over again, you know? He still makes me crazy.
The eternal question being, of course: do I still make him crazy?
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