Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Mood Swings

They say PMS comes with age. Fuck them, I have it already. Or maybe it's just my puberting hormones. Puberting.... is that even a word? I don't feel like googling it.
...Okay it's not a word. It's actually pubescing. Wtf I have never heard that word before. Weirdo dictionary. Pff.

I've been having extreme mood swings lately. Like, more extreme than usually. Today during physics I was like high on... something... I guess I can get high on oxygen, you never know with me (or LR). Anyways the point is that I felt really happy. And it was this feeling of happiness that's real, not just being okay with life, I was genuinely happy. Like, happy happy.
And then I came home, and I was talking to my mom about some article she had read and it... just hit me. I felt so damn sad that I started crying. For no reason whatsoever. I mean I was perfectly normal until then, in a normal conversation about nothing special, and then this. My mom got quite a fright. And then comes the question: why am I sad? I don't know. I just am.
Do I need a reason to be sad? Because I don't need a reason to be happy, I just feel good and glad and that's it. So can't it be the same thing with sadness?

What annoys me is that my moods change drastically, if at all. I have exactly 4 moods:
1. Happy -> smiling, hyper, all that shit.
2. Neutral -> no facial expression, distant, dazed.
3. Sad -> crying, depressed, drama.
4. Angry -> as in, furious. doesn't happen often.

There is no such thing as a "weakened emotion" for me (dunno how to put it). I just give everything or nothing. I always do, for some reason, no matter what situation. What is wrong with me, seriously...

/P.

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