Being single is even more complicated.
I have a crush and I refuse to admit it to myself. Because deep inside, I'm still hanging on desperately to D though I swore to forget him. But it's always like that. You can't just turn off your feelings with a flick of a switch. Though it would be so much easier.
The worst part is that I have absolutely no idea how to cope with this crush. It's a minor one, but it could grow into a bigger crush. And that's what I don't want. Because it'll end up like always: regrets and crying in a corner, wallowing in my self-pity.
On the other hand I could approach the situation optimistically: If my feelings are returned, it might be a good chance to forget D and start anew. I'd have someone who would hold me and who's warmth I can actually feel. It would be real. Not just a bunch of memories and a cup of hot tea in the evening. I guess I'm desperate for love. Everyone needs love, and I need a bit more than the others.
/P.
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