Thanks

T cried her eyes out to me today. It's annoying that I can't really help her, because she has to figure this out on her own somehow. The only thing I could do was hold her and just listen. It's quite depressing when you want to make it easier for a person close to you but you simply can't because the problem lies inside them. She has what I would call a burnout. Still it's always a relief when the person smiles a bit and tells you: "Thank you for listening to me. It really helps having someone to talk to."

T, if I can do anything, just tell me. I'm always there for you! ♥

So please don't be sad, okay? Somehow we'll figure out all this crappy stuff going on :)

/P.

Guilty

For some reason I've been feeling depressed and guilty lately. Depressed is understandable but guilty? It's just that I have this nagging feeling in the back of my head that tells me I've done something bad. But what??? It's really pissing me off! Maybe it's my subconscience... I dunno. Whatever -.-

/P.

Strange

So I went to C's birthday party Friday evening. I actually had fun. Okay I always find a way to have fun, but this was so strange! I mean there was absolutely no alcohol (the parents - yes there were parents present! - drank it all and seemed to have much more fun than us), this fourteen-year-old kept looking at me weirdly (yes I was together with kids and yes it was perfectly normal for him to look that way because seriously my behavior was far from average), oh and we had to play a game that  don't want to explain because it's more complicated than it looks and the last time I played it was in kindergarten. This may sound like the worst evening ever, but... it was awesome. Yes. I used the A-word.

I had this really weird dream last night. I was in our holiday apartment in the mountains together with PB and LR and we wanted to go sledging but there was no snow. LR suggested that PB look out of the window and check if the sledging track had enough snow (seriously wtf). PB went out and came back as JL with a ring and proposed to me, then D climbed through the kitchen window and said "it's okay I like LR now anyway" and then LR slapped D and started crying about everybody being mean and her not having a boyfriend. That's when I woke up fucking confused and thinking "WTF is wrong with me to have such weird stuff going on my head?!". So you can guess in what mental state I am today. Bingo. Brainfucked (my new favorite word) and damn annoyed at everything.

Speaking of annoyed (omg rant-alert!):
My CAS-advisor mailed me because I haven't done shit on managebac. I don't feel like doing it now. I just might add procrastination to my activities... No seriously why the hell do we have to reflect on our activities??? I feel stalked when I have to write stuff like that. Argh. Please let me die somewhere in a deep dark cave away from the rest of the world....

Fuck this is a hell of a long post. Yeah screw that.

D hasn't written back, he promised to do so. Not that I care. At least that's what I'm trying to tell myself.

/P.

Jerk

He's started hitting on me again.
S is the type of person who doesn't take no as an answer. Sometimes that might be cool, but otherwise it's just really annoying. I mean how dense can one be? Is it so damn incredible that I'm not interested? Jesus Christ he needs a hell of an update about the meaning of "rejection" and "no".
L had to laugh when he went too far and I had to say the crucial words "Hands off me, don't touch me there, Jerk!" during school. It may sound like a "that's what she said :D", but, unfortunately, it really happened. So. I'm pissed.
So great he didn't come to school today.

/P.

Ahem...I guess this is a response?

Okay so my response didn't fit into the comments thingy, so same here.

I absolutely agree with point N°1. It's the macho in a man that rebels against a girl asking him out instead of it being the other way round. And he doesn't, he takes her for granted and hurts her.

Point N°2: Ahem. Well. I think I sense an allusion to a certain douche we both know.
Besides that, yes, of course it's important to consider that it's always better to have one the guy instead of five that aren't. We all want to be loved... *sentimental moment*
So anyway, I feel like being a sucky friend and a bitch so I'll forward this message to LR and tell her to not blame me for her lacking ability of attracting individuals of the opposite sex.

What I actually wanted to say in my previous post is i.a. that I was a bit irritated by LR. I am not to blame for her not having had a boyfriend until now.
Either she's jealous and makes really really upsetting remarks about AP to make herself feel better and thinks she's funny and doesn't understand when I tell her to shut up about that already - seriously what kind of friend is she? - or she's sad and I have to comfort her with "don't worry you just haven't found the right one yet"-phrases. So, what to do? Maybe she was just jealous. I dunno.

/P.

Awkward x3

The awkward moment when...

1) Your friend introduces you to this guy from Poland and both of you have absolutely no idea what to say, let alone if in English or in Polish.
C is from Poland and yay E thought why not let the two of us have a chat. In the end there was an awkward silence and then N saved me with a question about our French oral presentation.

2) Your best friend tells you that you seem much more popular with guys than her and that's why she doesn't feel confident.
No, seriously: Am I really popular with guys? I don't think so at all. More like I'm not. L, sweetie, you might have noticed that I'm short of a boyfriend? If I was popular, where the fuck is the queue?!
...Anyhow. She got dumped by LC but she knew that coz it's his birthday on the day of the ball and PB... well PB wasn't going to go anyway. And then she's like "I bet he's have said yes if it was you" and I was like "why the hell do you think that?" and she says it's because I'm popular with guys. And then on top of it (mind you I was feeling pretty bad by then) she tells me she has no confidence of finding a boyfriend at this rate because she just isn't like me. What the hell?! Argh, I almost strangled her. It's precisely because she isn't confident that she doesn't have a bf yet. And okay she should learn to change from childish to earnest and fun to talk to in seconds when a boy is around.

3) You realize your brother has been masturbating under the shower.
Yes. The day has come. Usually you'd think it's the mother who finds stuff like that out, but no, it has to be me. Eww.

/P.

French

great pick up line for douchebags: (say this with a thick french accent)
"Euh... excuuse mee, um, m-my inglish is not very goud, but I french quite well ;)"

French presentation tomorrow.
...
OMYGODICAN'TDOTHISI'MGONNADIEEE!!!

so yeah. go figure.

/P.