Can one get used to loss?
Because somehow, it doesn't matter that much anymore to me. I've just kind of accepted it. I don't know whether this means that I don't care enough or that I am very quick to adapt to the new situation. Okay, I still regret his decision and miss him, but it doesn't affect me as much as I had expected it to. My thoughts are something along the lines of 'Yeah, ok, too bad. Better luck next time, I guess.' And that is definitely not the drama I was expecting of myself (maybe I just don't know myself enough). Whatever it is, I've come to terms with what happened.
Right now, I'm technically free as a bird. But I'm a tamed bird, and before long I will be looking for the next cage to harbour and nurture me. Born and raised in a cage, I'm doomed to look for one all my life until I find the golden prize that will give me the illusion of happiness long enough for me to believe in it even in death.
/P.
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