brooding

So.
I failed my chem test for sure (wow, who'd have known??). My head is hurting like hell, I don't know if I'm going to school tomorrow, I can't really concentrate but I had an aspirine and a dafalgan tablet thingy so I guess I should be fine.

Herbstmesse is coming on!!! That means: FUN. Lots and lots of it. Okay, so Saturday we're all going out, it'll be cool, I hope LW won't be there because I really don't have the energy to face him after half a year. I promised him to keep in touch and stuff but obviously I didn't feel like, okay I forgot but it feels better to say I didn't want to stay in touch. It's partly true anyway. I made a huge mistake by breaking up with him - that was three years ago but whatever - and he was really hurt and then he started flirting with T and then ZL so I kinda got a bit jealous because actually I was still really in love with him (what the hell was I thinking?!) so yeah long story cut short: it was a reaaally depressing episode in my life. And then he turned up again and wanted to see me more often because he couldn't help feeling something for me and I was annoyed because I'd finally gotten over him. Which is why I don't want to see him. And because if I see him I might change my mind. But that's impossible. D is the one for now and I want to do it right for once. Mum says it's okay to cheat if he's like on the other side of the world and it's not like he'd ever find out... I really really feel like doing just that sometimes but in the end it's not the same.  I still miss him. Aaand I ruined my mood again by talking about this. Where was I? Right, FUN.
So I'm going to have some fun by taking another tablet and going to bed and hoping that I'll be fine by tomorrow morning.
Dear Summer Holidays, please come soon?

/P.