New Year's Resolutions

Since I'm going to be completely isolated from the world for 10 days (1% hope for internetz, not much if you ask me), I thought I should write them down spontaneously now. This might turn into a monologue, so ignore the frustrated accusations/reproaches/whatever.

-> Forget D (get over it, girl, it's finished, and you did the finishing, what the fuck is your problem?!)
-> Stand up to my father (still not able to do it... my heart just breaks at the thought of his disappointment in me every time I try to say No)
- Get on better with my brother ( yeah right you're just hoping for him to stop calling you slut or cunt every time he sees you since that's what all girls are in his eyes anyway)
-> Get better grades (seriously I'm panicking now I don't want to fail and repeat the year)
-> Go shopping less often (it's like a stress-killer, and I'm addicted)
-> Build up some muscles
-> Improve my self esteem (it's, like, somewhere down in the cellar at times, and that needs to stop)
-> Buy a new laptop (mine's a wreck)

I bet my efforts to put these plans into action will be almost equal to zero, but oh well, its tradition.

/P.

PS: Merry Christmas and stuff ♥

Liar

LiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiarLiar.

Stop. Gluing. Yourself. To. Me. And. Get. A. Life.

That's what I wanted to tell him. Stupid motherfucking idiot.

Okay. Phew.

I think we all know who I'm talking about so let's just get over it. I absolutely can't tolerate this any longer. And please E, promise me not to get hurt (as if you weren't strong enough, but sorry for overestimating you if I am). No luck with my (decreasing) crush so far, I might as well give up. It's no fun anyway. Better to be single and happy like before.

/P.

Magpie

You always want what you can't have most. It's like a shiny jewel just waiting to be picked up and treasured. But when you pick it up and look at it closely, it's just another stone that glistened in the sun, deceiving you. You throw it away but always remember it, wondering how you could be so stupid to be fooled.

/P.

Crave You (or: vain little Me)

Why can't you want me like the other boys do?
They stare at me while I stare at you
Why can't I keep you safe as my own?
One moment I have you the next you are gone
Rehearsed steps on an empty stage
That boy's got my heart in a silver cage
Why can't you want me like the other boys do?
They stare at me while I crave you...

The lyrics say it all.

/P.

stormy, stormier...

The awkward moment when... the storm outside your bedroom window turns out to be a cyclone/mini tornado (name's Joachim, just fyi).
The even more awkward moment when... you realize you've fought yourself home through a wall of 80 km/h windspeed.

Yeah that's right. I checked it out in the internetz - at least now I know why I could barely walk against the fucking wind that kept blowing in my direction.

/P.

i dare you

I dare you to read the letters 'til the end. And I mean the end. I was too damn creeped out to continue after some time so I didn't watch the videos. damn.

http://katytowell.com/projects/31-letters-from-the-previous-inhabitants/

I found Katy by chance on Youtube and then I found out that she'd written a book so now I'm gonna buy it. Her stuff is so creepy! I love it! *shiverrrrr*

good luck

/P.

stormy

I just managed to come home in time before the rain started falling. It's raining like fuck right now. My window is rattling. I hate this type of rain. I prefer the non-windy, anti-creepy, steady and peaceful rain. Not this shit.

My mind is a storm. I don't know what to think.
One voice tells me to stay in the background and watch because it's none of my fucking business. Another tells me to act, now, because if I don't something bad may happen. Yet another tells me to chill out and wait, because everything might turn out just fine without me doing anything.
The thing is, it might not. What if what she needs right now is a hug and a few comforting words... But what could I possibly say?
What do you want me to do? Help me so I can try and help you. Because I really want to.

/P.