it's been a while

I was in Liverpool until last Saturday, so I haven't been around enough to bother to write something on here.

Liverpool was nice. I visited a lot of places and got my British English back (I switch back to American from time to time though).

Being away for a month also made me realise a few things.

- Usually when it comes to relationships, I never manage to keep them up longer than 3 months. Another thing is that I tend to care more for my partner than they do for me. I've been together with GC for almost 7 months now. And you know what? I feel like this time, we both care equally. And I'm happy.

- I am not afraid of getting hurt when GC has anger outbursts. I trust him not to hurt me physically, let alone intentionally. But I am afraid that one day he will go too far and either land in hospital or make somebody else land in hospital. He has anger issues. I understand that he has a lot of pent up anger and frustration, and I understand that it's hard to cope with additional stress and provocation. However, it might get him killed if he goes too far once too many. And that's what I'm afraid of.

- My body is mine and mine alone. I have to live in it. And I have to learn to love my home. I don't want to be influenced by others in terms of how I should look like. I want to learn to how love myself and love my body, and learn how not to constantly compare myself to others. I want to learn how to look into a mirror without finding flaws and instead to find good aspects and feel good about myself. Because I am tired of feeling like I'm not good enough or pretty enough. Simple.

- Having a lot of sex doesn't mean that you're "easy" or a slut. I enjoy it and I'm comfortable with that. No "masterkey" and "bad lock" bullshit. Like, what the fuck? I can't enjoy having glorious sex with whomever I choose because "it's not right"? Fuck you. Fuck you right up your bigoted ass.

- I need lots of sleep. Recently I've been going to bed earlier and I have never felt better. I can concentrate so much better, and coffee is a thing of the past. Sleeping early has also taught me to organise my timetable in a way that I can get everything that needs to be done before 8 pm. That way, I still have some time for other stuff, but without the stress of having uncompleted tasks that need my attention.

- Absence makes the heart go fonder, and the body horny as fuck. That is all.