don't let me fall

I've noticed that I haven't been updating lately.

Anyways, so what's new?
I've started knotting those little hats for smoothies as a CAS project (cheers for me), and it's actually quite fun. I didn't know I could still knit in the first place. I guess it's like riding a bike.
Also, I think Mr Lashes from the acting in English course has a mild crush on me. Boo Hoo. It's always the wrong guys. Real shame.
I've started missing LR really badly during classes. I mean, sure, I have new friends and stuff, but she's still that unique crazy biatch who'd sit next to me in almost every class and who knows what I'm thinking before I do. Oh well.
And bunking school is a bad habit. A very bad one, on top of it.

I read this book called "Before I Fall" by Lauren Oliver, and I loved it. It's aboiut a girl who dies in a car crash but then she wakes up and realizes that it's the day of the crash but it hasn't happened yet, so she's kinda given a second chance.
It's a really good story, it made me think of how every day could be your last, basically. You never know whether you'll live to see the next day, or even the next few hours. You could be run over by a car, for example. It's not that rare.
I think I want to start looking at things with more interest, I want to really see things, not just look at them but not really notice them - you know what I mean? Everything is so valuable and unique, it's actually almost heartbreaking that it doesn't last, don't you think? We're not invincible, no matter how convinced we are of the opposite. We're not immortaal, either. We're fragile human beings with fragile bodies and souls. Almost like a porcelain doll that shatters into thousands of tiny pieces if you're too rough with it. We can shatter, too. Whether because of old age or emotional overload.

So, my motto of the week is: Value your life, value every second of it. It may just as well be your last. You're not as strong as you think you are, and most certainly not as strong as you pretend to be on the outside.

/P.

That Awesome Feeling When...

The clothes you picked in the shop are all one size too big for you and you can proudly take the smaller size.
You go to Starbucks and you actually get a cup of cappucino and not 3/4 of milk foam.
You get to meet up with an old friend and do some catching up.
Mum gets you three brand new cooking books to try out (yay, I get to cook, finally!).
Having a crazy family is just fun.

I had a cool last few days. I feel... fulfilled? Something like that, anyway. It's a good feeling, anyway. :)

/P.

Google Search, y u so random?

Seriously, dafuq? I mean, I was looking for a picture I'd seen somewhere on Google images, typed in "girl walking away in rain" and somewhere along the way this comes up.

But it's cool, anyway. lol

/P.

two weeks later

I just came back from a cruise. We visited the Italian coast, Greece, Turkey and Croatia - it was wonderful.

I finished reading Hannibal during the cruise. The most psycho end I've ever read up until now, all the more weird because I was glad of it. For some reason, I'm not at all apalled that the protagonist was pumped with drugs and brainwashed and now leads a happy life bathed in riches with a psychopath serial killer who fed her the brain of her nemesis. Yup. Happy End.

Another thing: Contrary to popular belief, girls also get friendzoned. Just saying.

/P

[update for no good reason]

I'll be going to Rome next week.
Ermagherd I'm so exciteeed! It's gonna be, like, taw-tally awesooome ~
Ok let's cut the crap.
Anyways I'm happy to go there again, it's a fascinating city. Been there three times already and I found new fun places every time. Cool stuff.
I'm thinking of buying something at the Hard Rock Cafe this time but I'm not sure because I don't really collect that stuff, but it'd be cool anyway... I guess I'll just decide when I get there.
And thenn comes the matter of the postcards. Ugh. I should stop promising people that I'll send them a postcards from wherever I am.

And on Wednesday we're gonna have a reading of my play! Yes, my play. I wrote one, pretty short, though (4 scenes). For the Acting in English class. I hope they all like it and we'll include it in the showcase.

There's, like, nothing going on here. I have no idea what to write but I feel bad when I see that I haven't been updating lately - not that anybody cares except for me.

/P.

fuck you :) ♥

Whenever somebody annoys you:

Just smile and kill them in your head. Slowly and painfully.

I've been on a dextrose diet recently because I'm so tired. I can't fall asleep lately, no matter how I try. I hope it's not insomnia or anything.

So now I've been eating packet after packet of DextroEnergy and washing it down with coffee in the morning because I feel like I'm going to tip over any moment and fall asleep where I land.

Yeah, at least if it were like that I'd take a day off and have a good day's sleep but I've tried and it didn't work. I didn't drink any coffee, had a calming tisane instead and tried relaxing. Which resulted in me being dead tired and damn bored but no more. I just couldn't fall asleep.

So fuck you, scumbag brain, for making me grow jumpy and fidgety during class because my organizm can't handle all the sugar. Fuck you.

/P.

a friend's art

Just thought I might share this with you. God I'm jealous.